Darth Vader: Luke, I AM YOUR FATHER!

Luke Skywalker: … - executes some ridiculous lightsaber maneuver – … happy father’s day you mask-wearing pedophile!

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Obviously Star Wars > Dragonball ABCDEFG….Z

Anyways, in celebration of Fathers Day, dad and I went to the Coffee Club at Towers for lunch. Now, things were progressing quite well until this young ‘couple’ came and took the table next to ours. The 2 tables were unusually close for some reason, which already took the awkwardness scale to 4/10.

So, when you’re sitting THIS close to someone else’s table, you can’t help but eavesdrop on their conversation… or the lack thereof.

Girl: - looks down at the table - … so what do you want to do later?

Boy: um just walk around or something?

Girl: ahah okay.

- awkward silence… both attempt to look preoccupied but fail miserably –

Boy: it’s still so early.

Girl: it’s not early! It’s like 12!

Boy: I normally wake up around this time aha. Are you one of those girls who spend an hour getting ready beforehand doing makeup and all that?

Girl: ahah nah … - insert some random dialogue which I cannot remember due to my memory deficiency –

Boy: aww that’s cute.

- both laugh –

- fades to silence -

- Girl flicks through her split ends –

- Guy checks his phone (WHEN OBVIOUSLY NO ONE IS CALLING/TEXTING) –

- Flowers bloom, snowflakes fall, seasons change -

Girl: THIS IS SO AWKWARD!!!

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LOLLLLLLLLL UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE YEAR! The air was so thick with awkwardness that I could’ve sliced it with a knife. I silently applauded her bravery for admitting so. Surely this stark admission will be like the fat penguin that breaks the ice?

Alas, such hopes did not eventuate. Awkwardness prevailed like an incurable disease.

Girl: omg I don’t know what to talk about (WTF WHO SAYS THAT!!!! At this point I was inwardly cringing)

Boy: lol ask me something. Anything.

Girl: hmm okay … what is your favorite colour?

--

*FACEPALM* x 100000000000000000000.

Thankfully they left soon after. The awkwardness was becoming so stifling that I thought I was going to suffocate and incinerate in Dante’s Inferno.

Naww I shouldn’t be so slack. It wasn’t THAT bad… They were pretty cute J

I guess I can’t say much cos I don’t mix with awkward situations either. Well, one second thoughts, no one does … that’s why it’s awkward. Okay now it’s awkward cos I don’t even know what I’m saying. Anyways, maybe I should enlighten you of what I find awkward.

1) Elevators! Especially when someone talks very loudly… and everyone else attempts to look disinterested when really they’re like “OMG WHO IS THIS FREAK OF NATURE I MUST CONTACT THE FREAK POLICE”

2) When you walk past someone you vaguely know. Should you acknowledge them? Or just ... walk a little faster.

3) When your stomach growls in class… especially when it’s silent. Sometimes I can’t tell if the person next to me can hear it so I just pretend like nothing has happened. This instance occurred last week during Eco, and after the 3rd time, Jonny Wang was like “wow you are REALLY hungry aren’t you?” SIGH

Hmm I REALLY want to go to El Jannah! Apparently that place is legendary. Someone come with me please. I don’t trust ‘em Granville boys… don’t want to come back with more than I bargained for.

Alright I might go do something more productive now. In reference to the post before, I was obviously joking so I apologize to those who found it offensive. We should all be like this guy!

I love Sam Tsui J