LOL I was supposed to post this at the start of the holidays, but somehow it fked up. Well here it is now :) a whee bit of light entertainment for all of you

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My sincere apologies for the lack of activity on this blog. But have no fear! This blog is still alive and kicking, having just been given the "all clear" from the doctors (unlike Charlie Sheen). As such, I shall hopefully impart something inspirational on each and one of you today. It is often said that, through undergoing enormous turmoil, one emerges with newfound insight and alas .. "new eyes" (remember writing about this in English?). Fresh out of my battle with Mr. Halfyearlies whose capacity for physical and mental abuse could rival Chris Brown's, I have acquired profound understanding on both the personal and the universal. Here is a list of little facts which I have uncovered during the exam period:

1. Grant Denyer, despite setting the Guiness World Records for the lamest human being in history, is can actually great for stressful situations. Every morning before an exam I have been trying to calm my nerves by laughing sheepishly at Grant Denyer's not-so-funny-jokes, and surprisingly, it's been successful in remedying my jitteryness. Try it. He's as good as Doctor Phil.

2. My computer is bloody Megatron and has a mind on its own. The timeline goes like this: - 4 weeks from halfyearlies: RIP MSN. It begs me to download the newer version but my computer continuously denies MSN's resurrection. My solution? Facebook chat. - 3 weeks from halfyearlies: RIP FACEBOOK. It stubbornly refuses to load. I told him that we're over and that I have moved on to bigger and better things .. i.e. Skype. - 2 weeks from half yearlies: RIP INTERNET. I was rendered speechless. IT'S A BLOODY CONSPIRACY! So yes, I endured around 5-6 weeks of splendid isolation. The cartesian equation after eliminating the friendship parameter goes like this: betty + work + sleep = life. But guess what? I GOT MSN +FB BACK (on another computer) SO TAKE THAT YOU AUTOBOTS.

3. You can tell how long I've been at one place by counting the number of tissues nearby. The figure increases exponentially as the day progresses. On weekends my study desk has a Mt. Everest of tissues (don't worry they aren't dirty, I just scrunch up clean tissues and hold them in my hands)

4. The library is where the party's at. Seriously half of the people at the library aren't even there to study, but rather, there to hopefully score a one night stand with the opposite sex. Please kids, go flirt somewhere else.

5. Tutoring cannot save everyone. On one Saturday afternoon, I was at Castle Hill library, and the year 12 girl next to me was getting tutored for 3 unit. QUOTE:

Girl: OMGSH YOU KNOW, I FOUND OUT A WAY TO NOT REMEMBER THOSE SIN30, SIN60, SIN45 etc results! All you have to do is to just type it into the calculator, square it, and then the exact value will be the square root of that fraction! AHAHAH I'M SO SMART I SHOULD WIN THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE. (Okay maybe not the last part but she sounded so proud and triumphant that implied pretty much that)

Guy tutor: uhh.. but it takes time to type it in, whereas it's so much faster just to memorise it. Normally the first few questions should only take you a few seconds each.

Girl: but why would you waste SO MUCH TIME memorising all this when the calculator will do it for you! It's just not logical. (at this point I was feeling really sorry for her tutor and had this incredible urge to tell her to go and buy a brain off ebay)

Guy tutor: but it's so slow to type in everything!

Girl: NO WAY. Look, I'll race you, see.. *proceeds to slowly type in the numbers*

To that girl who sat next to me, thank you. You were the highlight of my day and assured me that even if I screw up 3u (*TOUCH WOOD*) it'll be okay because stubborn dumbshits like you will just take up the spaces for band 1.

- TBC cos I'm too tired now -

Happy holidays everyone!

xx

Betty.