Dear Lord, it's school tomorrow.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! (:

What's with the long faces everyone! I swear, all I've been hearing is;

" AH FUCKEN SCHOOL 2MOZ

SLJKAHDLKJHSLKJDH FML FAK

BRO DILMAH TEA BBQ

CHICKEN WITH FRIED RICE"

And I admit, I empathize with the imminent dread that accompanies the recommencement of school. The prospect of being bombarded with another set of exams is enough to send everyone leaping off roofs of buildings but hey, there's always other things that a school can offer.

It offers you a chance to ..

1. Count how many "um"s a teacher may say in one lesson.

2. Break some glasses in the form of beakers and test tubes and sweep them beneath the dusty cardboard, for safety purposes of course ;)

3. See your wallet shrink significantly with each successive trip to the canteen.

4. Take steps closer to contracting lung cancer from the inhalation of particulate matter all around the school. Everyday is like a dust storm due to those construction sites. Now where else can you journey through a dust storm and emerge relatively unscathed? (at least for now - no guarantees on cancer symptoms later in life). That's one small step for a man, a giant leap for death.

5. Witness geniuses at work. Everyday I am surrounded by Einsteins and Pythagoruses and I feel extremely privileged to be amongst them .. even if they do make my self-confidence dissipate rather quickly.

6. Re-bond with your best friend, the calculator. If you're like me and possess 4 calculators (which I doubt anyone is), triple maths on Wednesdays are bound to heal your relationship with that one calculator you have neglected throughout the holidays and is now seeing daylight for the first time in 2 weeks. Say hello to it and apologise for your broken promises to hang out with it along with your Cambridge Maths textbook during the break. Kiss and make up. Resume calculus.

7. Learn about moles! Mole mole mole mole *gets a stick and pokes a mole like Austin Powers in Goldmember* MOLE MOLE MOLE. And plus you see Amol as well, which is an added bonus (:

8. Lug folders and textbooks as you journey through the rugged terrain of the school, and for me, up the 45 degree incline that leads to my house every afternoon as well. Who needs dumbbells when you have 2 textbooks and a truckload of sheets accumulated from English and Modern history (listen up Josh and James Le! Nah jkjks). An effective bicep workout I must say... although pretty soon the Amazon forest is going to end up like our bottom oval - with no vegetation whatsoever.

9. Learn about how Tan +1 = Sexy and Cot + 1 = Cosy. Great life lessons are learnt within these classrooms with leaking roofs.

10. The potential flooding that comes with torrential downpours.. no wait, actually, a slight drizzle is enough to send our corridors to gush with water. Who needs Lake Eyre when you have a lake right at the front of the school?

11. Catch up on sleep during class. Been up till 4am playing dota? No worries, with the classroom temperature adjusted to a pleasant climate of 28 degrees, you are free to toss your worries aside and drift off into a peaceful bliss - unless you have some shitty sub like I did in year 9 who went and kicked my chair as I was entering my dreamlike state.

12. Listen to your teacher rave about the sexiness of Lawrence Fishburn and how unfitting it is that such a sexy man is casted for the role of Othello.

13. Exercise that blank look of yours when your teacher repeatedly asks for an answer from the class. The extent of some teachers' persistence mystifies me .. why ask when you're going to be met with a dumbfounded silence, which results in you answering you own question anyway?

14. Become acquainted with your next-seat neighbour. Make small talk about the weather, your little holiday adventures, Masterchef, anything. Who knows, they might share your freaky obssession with JOHN FROM THE MAINE x3

15. GRIND AT THE SEMI-FORMAL YEAAAH BRO! And we can all sing "I'm On A Boat."

16. Admire the beautiful complexion of our principal on her noticeboard photo.

17. Stick chewing gum under your table. You wouldn't do that at home now, would you? ... Would you?!?!

18. Watch your calculator collection grow under your every eyes. MUAHAHAHAH >=) Jkjks. I don't know how those 4 came to be under my possession. I must be a calculator magnet. Sheesh, one at a time please.

19. Hack into youtube to watch dance videos while keeping that Electronegativity of Elements graph you were supposedly plotting in the background.

20. Go for your little strolls during class and enjoy the wonderful scenery of our school grounds .. and so you don't doze off again as the teacher rants on about the elements of a business plan.



AND..

21. You can see me ! (Yeah great, now no one wants to come to school. T_T)



See, school's not that bad! Cheer up guys, see you all tomorrow (:


xx
Betty.