(get ready for a boring post, thanksbye)



There are days of self-reflection, discovery and realization which we all go through.. eventually. Like finally starting to get a true idea of what you want to make of this life. I don't think I've ever had so many thoughts running through my mind ever! It's so complicated and hard to explain because not everyone's going through the same mental journey (?) you are, and much of the time thoughts just go around in circles an circles and circles and even you end up being confused by yourself.

Harder still, how on earth do you put these trailing thoughts into bloody words? Everything sounds so doubtful and unbelievable in the cynical minds of others.. because they're not streamlined to what you're thinking. And because before you used to be one of those cynics, making snide remarks, which only calls for more cynism. And sometimes because of this you feel like there are some things you should swallow instead of spew, just to avoid all the messy misinterpretation and explaining.

But I am truly so glad. Because looking back at what used to be motivating:

- popularity
- earning/getting money to spend on sexy clothes
- being smartEST
- attention from boys
- making hair look as cool as possible (by spending 20 minutes on it everyday)
- being the prettiest in the class
- getting the biggest number of loves on bebo by pretending to love everyone else (LOOOL)

don't seem so great afterall, because none of them last! Not saying, ofcourse, that none of that matters and I'm going to go pov and dress like a douche and go unsocial, but you get the idea.
Watching a sister in the maturing process also makes the realization hit a bit harder... hah..

In conclusion... er what's my conclusion. Just some thoughts I guess. It may not make sense to most of you but WHATEVS ESHAYZZZ.

:P