Buried deep inside every one of us is a desire to break out, to escape from everything. Sometimes I feel so bounded, and I think that's why those songs about escape, about running away, about leaving towns and driving into the sunset are so appealing to me. That's why the idea of revolutions are so universal and embraced by society throughout the times. There's something very captivating about this sense of unconformity; it makes you feel alive, it gives you the thrill that you don't experience by following the norm. That's why we have punk music, we have political revolutions, we have artists willing to push the boundaries - to rebel against the common beliefs of society. It's what drives people do skydive, go on rollercoasters, to kill, to do crazyass things that no one thought was possible.

But what's funny is, once the whole society undergoes a revolution, those rebels are no longer part of an unconformity, but rather they conform to the same beliefs and values as the rest of society. Take emos for example, they conform to the unconformity.

This reminds me of that quote by Vivienne Westwood I came across last term (FROM STUDYING VD RAWR);

" I'm a rebel but not an outsider."

I think she's right. There's a difference between the two; you can understand and rebel against society, but you cannot be ignorant of what's occurring around you. I was struck with this realisation when I returned to China this year. The people there.. they live in a bubble. They're brainwashed by the Government, reinforced by government censorship and other extensive controls.

I was raised there, and ever since I was really little I was taught of how great China was, of how great Communism was - note that this started since I was only in Kindy. So while children here were drawing Mickey Mouse with crayons, I was chanting "LONG LIVE CHAIRMAN MAO" and watching videos of his communist party in class.

When I travelled back to China this year, I talked to my old friends, my cousin, to Taxi drivers etc and I could feel that sense of repression. Those people could sense that there's something wrong with what they're taught, but they are rendered powerless, believing that there's nothing they can do to change that.

I'm glad that, by moving here, I'm blessed with an outer perspective. I'm glad that instead of seeing just one tree, I can see the entire forest.



I think the day the Chinese population can access and read this blog, I'll be long gone.

xx. you know who.