DREAMS CAN BE SO CRUEL.

Especially when something so good happens right, and you think you're ready to dance off the earth in happiness, and it's so real and believable and shit, and then...

...your eyes blink open in excitement and you're hit with the realization that it was all fake and the probability that it will actually happen in real life is approximately 0.0000000000001.

Yeah it sucks.

And sometimes dreams have sneaky tricks as well. I know it sounds extremely W-T-F but they're smarter than you think.

Take for instance, one night I dreamt that I walked into a restaurant and asked for a job, and then the retaurant owner immediately said yes and was going to pay me 15 bucks an hour. (This might not sound like a very big deal but at that time I really, like REALLY wanted a job) So you can probably predict how freaking exhilerated I was.

Then I said to myself: Hang on a minute this all seems a bit like a dream. Wait a second, this IS a dream.

So then I decided to wake myself up to confirm whether or not it was actually real.

So then I did, and here it gets to the sneaky bit because at that point I wasn't exactly awake, I was in a sub-dreaming condition (where you're half awake but you hallucinate things that never seem to make sense) and in this sub-dreaming condition I asked my trusty companions Ying and Anthea (who suddenly popped up at the restaurant) whether this was actually real.

Then they started shouting things like: "Yeah THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING! You're not dreaming! You can walk to this restaurant in Epping tomorrow to check and you'll have your job!"

(Ofcourse I believed it, seeing as the dream had deceived me into thinking that I was wide awake when in actual fact I was still in my sub-dream condition).

So then I was re-exhilerated and getting ready to earn big bucks.

Then I opened my eyes for real this time and got SO. PISSED. THAT. I. WANTED. TO. BURST!


Freaking dreams.

Speaking of which, last night I dreamt that I was Shrek and was a green version of Robin Hood and had to break into the boys toilets because someone was stealing money and I had to get it back for the poor people. So while everyone was sleeping, I crept into each cubicle (and I don't know why but each cubicle had a calculator in it) and slid the lid off every calculator. Then finally I slid off the lid of the last calculator and there, hidden inside, was a bundle of notes.