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Tuesday, July 29, 2008
AN IMPORTANT NOTICE TO ALL CHICKS.
(Voiced by dance teacher on Monday night as a warning to the class regarding busts)
*Formal tone*
"Now girls, you have got to start stimulating your backs. I've got to tell you now, those muscles beneath the shoulder blade are the ones that are keeping your bust line UP. *starts gesturing towards bustline in queer fashion*
"If you don't start using those muscles, you're all going to start hunching. I'm going to tell you all, MY GOD some people have such large busts; when I see them in public, especially those with hunched backs, when they take their bras off I BET their boobs will be ON THE FLOOR.
"So I've got to tell you now... you've got to start stimulating those muscles. Also, another thing: you see I don't have a bust... but at the same time I've got to keep my ribs in, because then it'll seem like a DOUBLE BUST, which would be strange. Alright?"
*seems oblivious to howling laughter*
- - - -
Haha. I'm past halfway with Eclipse now. When Jacob practically r apes Bella. It's so addictive, and encapsulates all the fine criteria needed for a good story. I wonder if the teachers have ever read the Twilight Series ;D. Nahh kidding.
I've alredy got my short story planned. Mine's going to be about how a distressed woman goes to a fortune teller and she gets told that her son is going to get killed. She's allowed to ask questions but the answers all cost like $1oo so since she has no money she only asks three. 1.It will take place in 11 nights time at 1:03 a.m. 2.It will be in their house 3. It will be by someone in the house.
Her boyfriend is living with her and her son at the moment, so naturally she pinpoints him as the will-be murderer. She plans to escape the fate by killing her boyfriend before he kills the son. (since he is the only thing left in her cherished world or something). So she sets her alarm clock to 11 mintues to 1 on the night and goes into his bedroom with a kitchen knife. But he's not there because he went on an emergency night shift or something and for some reason she goes into the son's room and suddenly a figure emerges behind her in the doorway and she thinks it's the boyfriend coming to kill her son (when actually it's her son coming out of the toilet) and stabs him through the throat.
MUAHAHAHA! I dibs it, bags it, it's mine, if anyone writes anything to do with fortune telling i'm dobbing on them.
--jerry