PAT’S TOP TEN TIPS WHEN GOING CAMPING!
(to ensure maximum fun and minimum unexpected catastrophes!)

1. Bring a giant wheelie bag packed full of jumpers, beanies, socks, sunscreen, aeroguard, shirts, pants, shoes, hair brushes, garbage bags (orange or blue, NOT BLACK! ^^) and most importantly, THERMAL UNDERWEAR! xD

2. When the roll call bell rings, you, being the energetic, strong and persevering young people you are, should…DUMP YOUR BAGS AND RUN TO ROLL CALL!!

3. When on the bus, to pass the time, play interesting games including take-turns-finding-objects-outside-the-bus-starting-with-the-letters-in-the-alphabet. Or for those who cannot recite the alphabet, you can always play the make-up-a-stupid-story-by-taking-turns-saying-one-word-at-a-time game. If however, you lack the skills to spell AND create compound sentences, then I’m sorry, I can not help you.

4. Upon arrival, after the briefing from the instructors, ENSURE YOU USE THE FLUSHABLE TOILETS BEFORE HEADING TO YOUR CAMPSITE. Trust me. After seeing the ever growi- wait. A warning for the easily sickened, please skip the rest of this paragraph and move onto the next as descriptions may be disturbing. xP –ever growing mound of uhh…human waste piling up nearing the toilet seat and the tiny black insects stuck to the back of the toilet seat, you will not think of relieving yourself after eating as a “normal everyday thing”. Trust me.

5. When crawling through a tiny hole underground and being tricked into thinking there are “dead ends”, wear long sleeves and long pants. Unless you are the type to like bruised elbows and scratched knees that hurt when you shower, if you get the chance to shower.

6. If you decide to feed alpacas and horses and donkeys in a paddock…BEWARE OF COWS. And preferably, do not scream too loud when unexpectedly a giant head pokes out of the fence and MOOOOOOOOS at you to prevent falling on a cow pat and several damaged ear drums.

7. Whilst searching on the ground for kindling for the fire, in the time of pitched darkness we call “night”, always bring a torch. The consequences are horrifying and may including accidentally sticking your hand into cow manure that is scattered around the campsite.

8. When playing hide and seek in the bush, do not be fooled into simply crouching down in the middle of the bush with barely any surrounding shrubbery just because you are wearing camouflage gear. There is a slight chance, just a SLIGHT chance, you may be “in” next round.

9. If your instructor asks you to wash up one night, choose the station as far away from any guy who has the skills to twirl sharp knives around his fingers if you so happen to have been using knives that day that need washing up. If you get what I mean.

10. Have a good time with your buddies, try not to forget deodorant, use the campsite toilets as little as you can (and if you really have to go at night, take 5 of your friends along for…mental support?) and create great memories. =D